The weight of sorrow brought me to my knees. There wasn’t one story I could attach

To the woe of my soul. It was the heaviness of a lifetime of betrayals, & heartbreaks.

The tears flowed, the pain and brokenness filled my entire being. I was consumed mind, body & soul

The pain engulfed me with darkness. I cried, releasing all the embedded hurts of my life. The darkness had squeezed me tightly. I continued crying, fighting back, my fists hitting the floor, tears flowing like a storm wet the floor. I was choking on sorrow gasping for breath when suddenly a slow steady calm fell over me. I was being rocked & soothed as I looked back at the darkness. Alone, breathing into my sobs as they become whimpers of pain. Then I saw a slight light.

I felt the band of my ancestors’ arms around me, my sisters, aunts, mothers, grandmothers} holding me, rocking me, loving me, lifting me up as they led me back to the light. They spoke to me, or through me I can’t be certain. “Rest for a time, lay down the weight of sorrow. Release and rest then get back up. Forever changed.” My innocence and fragility were replaced with scars. I had healing scars weaved with gold where the wounds once lived. Proof of healing. I could live again with immense joy. A joy impossible to experience, understand or explain. It must be lived only after falling into deepest betrayals, sorrows, and loss.

My strength renewed with the strength of my ancestor’s love, before me holding me up I stood again. Tears escaped from the corners of my eyes as I smiled.

Renewed. Forever Changed.

I survived. I still live. I matter.